bebopsamurai

Well, a year older today.  Go me.

Wow.  Escapist?  THIS is why I love the living hell out of you.

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/issues/issue_239/7104-Journey-Into-Darkness

Looking back, I almost missed The Darkness entirely because I'd HEARD the demo was kind of meh. 

THANK GOD FOR VIDEO RENTAL STORES, because I almost missed out on something really special and absurdly fun.  Starbreeze already proved themselves back in 2004 with "Escape from Butcher Bay" by defying convention in an excellent movie tie-in game and with this comic-book-based follow up they've pretty much got a perfect record.

It's embarrasingly cheap anymore, so if you've got a 360 or PS3 give it a go, it's a pretty fast playthrough.  Besides, you know, killing people with shadow demons and watching them eat hearts for upgrades is pretty fun.

Bioshock 2 is out in seven lousy days.  Am I excited to revisit one of the most visually dynamic/narrative driven/genre-crossing game universes of the last decade? FUCK YES I AM. 

In the spirit of this here's the new video of the Special Edition unboxing (which also happens to be one of the most hilarious things I've seen of late.)



Gaaaahh so pretty ♥  Though admittedly they already had my extra 40 bucks at '164-page hardcover artbook.' ♥♥♥♥

I. 

WOULD.

KILL.

To be the leather straps constituting what can charitably be called P!nk's wardrobe.

♥____________♥

Ha ha ha! Only kidding! ...Kind of.

So upon watching the NGE Rebuild movie (subtitled Ha-Ha It's Pretty Much Just The First 6 Episodes Prettied Up A Bit And Like 5 Minutes of New Footage Plus A Kaworu Tease So Suck It Fans HA HA HA We Hate You Now Give Us Your Money Again Fuckers, oddly enough) I came to a startling realization.

Ritsuko Akagi is smoking hot.  Like... godDAMN.  UNF.



Sadly there aren't enough pics online featuring her killer legs as well.  U FAIL FANDOM.

How the hell I missed this when I actually gave a shit about non-manga form Eva I have no idea.  Mostly because I was all about Rei at the time? IDK. 

And don't try to tell me she's a nutcase as a way of deterring me here-- frankly her descent into psychopathic bitchery and how she remains so goddamn authoritative only makes her hotter.  Don't even ask.  XD

Each morning I get up I die a little
Can barely stand on my feet
Take a look in the mirror and cry
Lord what you're doing to me
I have spent all my years in believing you
But I just can't get no relief, Lord
Somebody, somebody
Can anybody find me somebody to love?

You know, strip away the upbeat tone and the epic guitar solos and a lot of Queen's songs are incredibly sobering.

*sigh* I used to love this song but now it just makes me feel worse.  I don't even know what the point of this is anymore.

So "Sherlock Holmes." 

( Inconsequential ranting regarding certain a certain actress in the movie here )But seriously.

The actual storyline kind of drags it down in terms of its trappings (thanks Dan Brown, for ubiquitizing the fucking Secret Society as a way to add 'intrigue') and Mark Strong's Lord Blackwood makes for kind of a lame villain, but it was generally pretty entertaining and the cast had solid chemistry.  Robert Downey continues to play some variation on Tony Stark, that is to say playing himself (though he's admittedly good at it, so whatever) and Law's Watson is a really solid, likeable character who isn't downplayed or dumbed-up to make Holmes look good as he has in other interpretations in addition to being pretty hot and fuck the haters, McAdam's Irene is actually pretty damn awesome.  It OF COURSE ends on a sequel hook with the promise of Moriarty rearing his head, so that's something to look forward to, and despite being neutered enough for a PG-13 bankability rating, Guy Ritchie is as solid a director as ever and his distinct blend of solid action and Undisputably British humor/approach works pretty well here.

And just got back from "Book of Eli."  Honestly?  Some cloying touches of 'evangelism' and a generally rote art direction for a Post-Apocalypse movie aside... I liked it alright.  I had some serious 'eyebrow-raising' moments with key plot points (apparently the remnants of the human race were too busy burning EVERY SINGLE COPY OF A BOOK SO COMMON YOU CAN FIND IT IN ANY ROOM OF A FUCKING MOTEL 6 to make an effort compiling unimportant shit like FOOD AND WATER, makes sense... and if Gary Oldman's Carnegie is so desperate to 'control the masses' through religion since pretty much no one else remembers them, why the hell doesn't he just, ya know, MAKE ONE UP?  Why does it HAVE to be the Bible???) but there's enough solid stuff in here that it's worth a look.  The fighting is nicely choreographed and brutal (Denzel here is easily at his most utterly badass since "Training Day"), the cast is solid and putting some effort into their parts (Oldman especially having a lot of fun) and you get to see Michael Gambon as a well-mannered, gun-toting cannibal.

YES.  DUMBLEDORE AS A GUN-TOTING WELL-MANNERED CANNIBAL IN WHAT'S EASILY THE BEST PART OF THE MOVIE.  IF THAT SHIT'S NOT WORTH ADMISSION ANYMORE I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS.

Yes, the story is really pretty simple and the whole notion of God running interference for Eli seems pretty eyeroll-inducing, but in a lot of ways it's kind of a modern update of the most archetypal Old Testament stories there are-- the warrior-vagrant bringing the Word of God with him and provided divine protection against corrupt kings and lawless barbarians (hell, these stories run even older than that if you want to be honest), and as someone who spent a considerable part of their childhood exposed to that kind of thing I found it kind of enjoyable in a sort of intangible, almost primal sort of way and also-- like Avatar and 9-- a reminder that no matter how far we think we've come some stories are always going to be told, just in different ways.

Granted, I'm not really religious in the practicing sense at all as much as in the modern 'i'm-more-of-a-SPIRITUAL-person' euphemism that means you haven't touched a Bible in years and attending mass puts you straight to sleep, and I frankly find the gray area between absolute faith and atheism considerably more interesting, but I do think it's not something that should be taken lightly and I DO appreciate that it's possible to acknowledge something like that and make it apart of your life without becoming a misogynist homophobic gun-toting fuckwad (yes, intelligent religious people DO exist despite every effort to convince us otherwise). 

And really, considering how just about everyone ostensibly of any kind of faith system is portrayed in almost all popular entertainment anymore as either a deluded moron, a psychotic strawman or both, seeing a movie about a person of faith who's actually vindicated for their beliefs and isn't just the butt of a massive joke is actually pretty damn refreshing. 

get to know meIDEK why I'm doing this; no one responds to these things anyway :/

On a side note, I'm applying for The Escapist's Anime Reviewer position-- odds aren't exactly in my favor, what with a sizeable reading base, but honestly I'd like to think that my writing is alright and I can express my opinions well enough (though this is probably not really the case) that I might get one of the 2 spots.  Again, not likely.  But dear God, how much writing for a respected site would help my 'credibility.'  Wish me luck.

Also you're probably sick of hearing me talk about it but I just clocked in 60 hours playing Bayonetta.  I've played through it at least 6 or 7 times, beaten Hard and Very Hard difficulties, and I'm STILL not tired of it, though the raw density of shit to unlock certainly helps.  Considering my high turnover rate even with games I LIKE this is certainly saying something.  GO BUY THIS GAME, so you too can have your gaming expectations for the rest of 2010 made unreasonably high and everything else rendered slow and mundane.

Also, don't buy into the bullshit-- A few longer loading times aside, the PS3 port plays just fine.  Hell, I certainly never had a problem with that, and I'm surprised that this is getting so much flak when the PS3 version of DMC4 had a required load time of 20 MINUTES + and no one seemed to bat an eye.

Day 26 → Your week, in great detail

FIrst week of school-- taking Journalism (mostly to help with my going-nowhere reviewer ambitions), Creative Writing (for motivation to actually write again), Spanish (for the hell of it) and Music Appreciation (read: a slacker course~).  Not that bad a schedule-- most of my classes fall on Tuesday-Thursday and only one on Mon/Weds evening, though today my manager made the incredibly brilliant call of me helping another person open at 9:30 this morning.  On a Wednesday.  One of our slowest days.  And when I got there she'd already taken care of EVERYTHING.  WHAT WAS THE FUCKING POINT AGAIN.

Day 27 → This month, in great detail

See above, pretty much.

Day 28 → This year, in great detail

See above THE YEAR'S ALL OF 13 DAYS OLD FOR GOD'S SAKE

Day 29 → Hopes, dreams and plans for the next 365 days

None.

Day 30 → Whatever tickles your fancy



I just like this picture XD  Mostly because it captures the off-the-charts sexual tension these two have. 

That is all.

Day 20 → A hobby of yours

Hmm gee I''m gonna have to think about that one a while VIDEO GAMES.  Not that this is a surprise for anyone who's ever talked to me period XD

Day 21 → A recipe

I was gonna post one for this pan-seared chicken I made, but I pretty much eyeballed it and can't think up exact measurements.  So have this epic Mixed Berry Cheesecake recipe I got from Food Network, because it tastes fucking incredible~

Seriously, even without the berries and such the cheesecake itself is probably the smoothest I've tasted in forever ♥

Day 22 → A website

www.escapistmagazine.com

The Escapist is pretty much the only gaming site I trust, not only because the review staff is easily the best and most honest one I've seen in forever (and they don't use a bullshit/misleading scoring system-- you have to actually READ it to figure out what they're trying to say, not that it's a drag since their writing manages to be both smart and personal), but because they bring a great deal of intelligent discourse to gaming... and, well, their series of regularly updated web shows (There Will Be Brawl, Escapist News Network, Unskippable, Escape to the Movies and of course Zero Punctuation) is easily the strongest collection of any website I've encountered.  The full package, this one.

Day 23 → A YouTube video 



breakdancing for the lolz XD

Day 24 → Whatever tickles your fancy

What? ME, obsessed? <.<



This is just too epic not to share.  Queen + Asskicking = best AMV ever XD

Day 25 → Your day, in great detail

Woke up around 9:35, Mom was actually making breakfast XD She made pancakes (which were good but we didn't have lemon juice so they came out a little chewy) and my sis woke up just before she finished, so we all sat on the couch and ate while some show blared on TV.  After breakfast I went to my room, played Bayonetta for a bit (trying to do better on Normal before attempting Hard), then Mom and I (seperately) went out to run errands.  I took some movies back to the library, picked up the 'Little Shop of Horrors' movie soundtrack at B&N and traded some games in at Gamestop to pick up Bioshock for the PS3 (in preparation for Bioshock 2 in February) only to find it's been discontinued and they didn't have any in stock ):  Not finding anything else, I left and ran by Costco to grab a snack (consisting of a polish sausage, diet coke and a churro YES I'M BAD), then ended up picking up the SEGA Ultimate Genesis Collection for PS3 because, well, I never played Vectorman and we were too poor for a Sega when I was a kid. XD  Came home around 2:00 and we all went out to Jack Stack Barbeque to use a giftcard our mom got (from someone who didn't know she doesn't like barbeque, LOL).  Sis and I shared a pork/beef baby back rib plate with beans and fries, and our Mom had... uh, a plate of fries because she really likes their fries XD.

We came home, Sis and I played some of the Genesis Collection in co-op while LOLing over the fact that we were hurting each other more than the bad guys mostly due to friendly fire XD.  Around 4:34 Mom and Sis went to church and I... er, stayed home and played more Bayonetta.  When they eventually got home Sis and I played some more and had a late dinner, then we all helped make some cookies for Sis' Basketball Team Pre-game party tomorrow.  Then Sis and I watched "Something Something Something Dark Side" (which continues the proud tradition of the "Blue Harvest" Family Guy/Star Wars-parody by generally sucking AS a parody for taking its subject matter WAY too reverently), she went to bed, and GUESS WHAT I PLAYED MORE OF XDDD

Wow.  So a year ago today, I would up in the hospital and nearly went into a hypoglycemic coma which I could've still been in.  2009 was easily the hardest year I've ever had to deal with, and probably my lowest point, so I want to genuinely thank everyone who's stuck by me through it.  It really means a lot.

The weather is getting really bad here (well, everywhere if the Weather Channel is to be believed) and so my dad sent me a text asking (telling) me to stay with him for the night so I wouldn't have as far to drive for work tomorrow.  Not wanting to do that, I gently told him I'd be okay.  When he insisted and I again turned him down, he then pulled the above information out of the air and talked about how 'i promised him we'd be closer' (which he forced on me when I was half-delirious/asleep/drugged out in a fucking hospital bed) and how my not wanting to have a relationship with him 'made him sad.'  Wow... you're gonna pull that shit on me for THIS?  Fuck you Dad.

I'm almost ALMOST done with Bayonetta and honestly my love for it is so vast that I'm seriously considering apping her somewhere, though where is the question indeed-- mayfield_rpg  is pretty much out of the equation considering I barely participated nor were my characters particularly sought out for interaction in the first place-- so any open places without unreasonable participation/application requirements that anyone knows of would certainly be appreciated-- I've already GOT a job and I honestly don't need another one that I won't get paid for during my free time.

Speaking of unreasonable, I'm actually going back to classes for the first time in 8 months and I'm actually going to try sticking with it.  I'm mainly just doing it for insurance though; frankly I'd rather drill holes into my skull then spend another pointless minute of my life in a fucking classroom, but whatever.

Day 14 → A non-fictional book

I really don't even LIKE football, but in a lot of ways "Friday Night Lights" isn't about high school football itself as it is about the game's influence on the psyche and self-image of a small Texas town.  In some ways a biting critique and yet also an honest representation, it really paints an intimate and uncompromising view of when sports matter just a little too much.

Day 15 → A fanfic

This excellent femslash fic from fembuck  for "Death Proof."  I have no idea why there's practically no femslash for this movie or much fic in general, but thank god there are people who can do it and and do it WELL.

Day 16 → A song that makes you cry (or nearly)



Just... gahh. Do I even need to explain this ;_;

on a side note, it strikes me as interesting that of all the songs taken for yuri AMVs why this one hasn't been... it would totally work for Soifon/Yoruichi just off the top of my head.

Day 17 → An art piece (painting, drawing, sculpture, etc.) 
 


Love love LOVE Caravaggio.  Mostly for the really dramatic lighting/contrast he employs.

Day 18 → Whatever tickles your fancy



If you like action games, ass-kicking ladies, deliciously over-the-top combat or all of the above you need to play this game NOW.  It plays great, looks great, has a fun story and tons of ingenously crazy ways to kill shit, and Bayonetta herself is just totally fucking awesome.

Day 19 → A talent of yours

I write lots of femslash, if that counts though pretty much all of it sucks.

Went in kind of expecting to be disappointed (apparently there is something so utterly terrible/poorly done about this film that tons of theatres across the US have been pulling it even a week after its Christmas Day release), and... well, it's not really an astounding movie musical and not nearly as good as Rob Marshall's debut adaptation of "Chicago" (which, despite the incredibly stupid things that come out of Hugh Jackman's mouth, is what ACTUALLY made the musical film culturally relevant again), but make no mistake "Nine" is still very, VERY good.

Granted, if you've seen one of Marshall's other movies-- "Chicago" and "Dreamgirls" essentially making up his entire catalogue-- you've already got a basic idea of how he structures his musicals: the actual musical numbers take place in lavish 'dream sequences' in the characters' heads, separated from the 'reality' of the narrative yet still in the immediate context of events.  And really, as far as uniting stage and screen goes this method works quite well-- the 'movie' part of the movie is consistent, yet the 'musical' parts are able to really go all-out from choreography to costumes thanks to the conceit of being, well, dream-sequences.   Granted, this is really where "Nine" stands out, but hell, it's a musical and you go to one to see this sort of thing, it only makes sense. 

The songs are beautifully performed, especially considering the only seasoned singer is probably Fergie-- Daniel Day-Lewis and Marion Cotillard probably being the standouts here (though special notice definitely goes to Judi Dench and surprisingly Kate Hudson, who it turns out can SERIOUSLY belt it).  It's probably not going to be the classic that it was clearly intended to be and "Sweeney Todd" still has nothing to worry about as the best movie-musical of the last decade or so, but it's still pretty good and if you're into that sort of thing you should see it before it gets pulled.

Also, you've gotta love ANY movie where you basically get burlesque dances from Penelope Cruz AND Marie "goddamn she was fine in Public Enemies" Cotillard.  C'mon.

( Cut for unprofessional incoherent drooling over a certain actress you're probably sick of hearing me talk about~ )
Honestly, I was fully prepared to walk out of "Avatar" convinced I'd seen if not the worst movie of the year (that dubious honor goes to Megan Fox Humping a Motorcycle... I mean, TRANSFORMERS 2) certainly the stupidest thing on the planet and James Cameron finally jumping the shark... so understand how good it has to be for me to say that it is REALLY DAMN GOOD.  Not even just from a technical perspective (and it is truly gorgeous-- if nothing else this needs to win Best Art Direction and it's got some of the most imaginative/crazy-ass aliens put to screen in a while), but because it does such a good job of getting you invested in it regardless of your prior hang-ups.  The 3D here isn't used so much for the usual tropes of WOWEE-ZOWEE ostentatious Shit Jumping Out of The Screen but for crafting amazingly rich and immersive imagery-- it sucks you in and really makes Pandora feel more like a living breathing PLACE rather than just CGI setpieces even in spite of some impossible stuff like floating mountains and bioluminescent forests with foliage the size of cars at its smallest.  Honestly, I've never really bought into the 3D craze of late but I certainly approve of it being utilized in this sort of fashion for once. 

The story is nothing new, as we've all already come to the conclusion of, but it is really well-told and a lot of fun to see play out regardless of whether or not you can see everything coming (though frankly if you have at least a basic familiarity with film/literature/theatre/any storytelling medium you've pretty much seen every story there is anyway if you think about it).  Its raw sincerity helps, even WITH the knowledge that this movie about the unity of all life and the value of nature over corporate greed is being distributed by... er, one of the largest media corporations on the planet.  Hell, there's a reason these stories keep getting retold people.

Still, it's great entertainment, looks fantastic, and the action sequences are top-notch-- seriously, the 3rd act finale is probably closest any movie has come to the mind-blowing epicness of The Battle of Minas Tirith in "Return of the King" in terms of sheer scale and 'holy shit' moments coming one after another.  It's not the best sci-fi movie of the year, it's not going to change your life, it's not even Cameron's best movie, but it's still quite excellent in its own regard.  Every Academy Awards year there's usually a Massive Spectacle picture wedged in with all the more SRS DRAMA Best Picture nominees, and 2009 could do a helluva lot worse than this one.  Give it a shot, you might be surprised.
 
And also, since there were a fuckton of them with the movie, a rundown of the Major Trailers:

The Lightning Thief: Looking quite good, if not especially close to the book (which honestly, I should be glad about seeing as this is a Chris Columbus movie-- the "nevermind that books and movies are two totally different mediums and let's just film the fucking novel because the fans will piss themselves with glee" approach to Sorceror's Stone and Chamber of Secrets kind of dragged them down and it's nice to see him learning something from this.  Seems Rosario Dawson's Persephone (mmmm) getting expanded into a seemingly more significant role, and I'll be very happy for the five seconds or so that Uma Thurman is onscreen as Medusa ♥  Oh, and if that girl they showed with the spear for half-a-sec was in fact Clarisse I'm already sold.  Damn do I love that fierce bitch /3

Alice in Wonderland: You know what?  Fuck this movie.  I was ready to believe that all the Depp I'd been seeing saturating the advertising was either a trailer hook or a red-herring to lure in his fangirls, but the revelation of the actual trailer-- that this is in fact a SEQUEL of sorts-- and the fact that Alice herself makes up all of about 10 seconds (total) of a minute-and-a-half long trailer makes the truth impossible to ignore.  Depp's the star here, his fucking Mad Hatter.  I wouldn't have an issue with it if they were being honest but christ, it's ALICE in Wonderland, not The Adventures of Johnny Depp's Catch-All LOL QUIRKY Character.  Alice gets MAYBE TWO lines in this segment-- I know it's just a trailer but COME ON-- why is she being regulated to the fucking Tenchi (i.e. a blank slate for the more 'memorable' characters to play off of) of this thing?!  Don't get me wrong, Johnny Depp is an entirely competent actor-- Sweeney Todd, From Hell, Secret Window, Edward Scissorhands, hell even the First Pirates of the Carribbean-- all great films and distinct roles, but he's getting dangerously close to repeating himself and it doesn't help that Burton's track record proves that remakes/reimaginings aren't his strong suit.  Granted, the art direction is striking (if very standard Burton) and I'm all for any White Queen/Red Queen or Anne Hathaway/Helena Bonham Carter femslash that may incidentally come as a result of this, but Christ, it doesn't always have to be the Johnny Depp show.

Shrek Forever After: It's the final one.  THANK GOD FOR THAT, especially after the general weakness of Shrek the Third.

Day 10 → A photo of you taken over ten years ago
 
Oh sure, let me grab that-- I keep it in my hard drive along with my pictures from drinking with Jesus and my worth as a human being in the file of Shit That Doesn't Exist.

Day 11 → A photo of you taken recently

Yeah, not doing that.  Would probably cause several people to stab their own eyes out and I don't think they'd be able to make enough braille keyboards to meet the subsequent demand.

Day 12 → Whatever tickles your fancy



There's a long and boring story behind this but basically this is the vampire protagonist of an 'idea' kiyuu and I hatched up together for lulz about vampires fighting something other than werewolves for once (in this case, say, dragons) a while ago and out of boredom I've decided to actually try making a 'story' out of it, starting with character designs.  Don't ask me what she's called, I don't have a name yet.

Also, I wanted to get used to the Wacom tablet.  I'd say it's not too bad, considering I'm just now learning what to do with half these tools.

Day 13 → A fictional book



Speaking of vampires, I think this may be the only book related to that branch of the undead that I actually like.  And funny enough, it came out around the same time as Twilight but tanked... can't imagine the not-so-subtle femslashiness in a book aimed primarily at teenage girls could've had anything to do with that.

Seriously though, "Moth Diaries" is pretty well-written, despite a fair amount of you probably writing it off just for that last sentence.  That the girl stealing away our protagonist's best friend AND NOTHING ELSE is a vampire isn't the mystery (hell, it's given away on the back of the fucking cover), but the way it unfolds -- subtle hints of something just-barely-off, vague suspicions-- builds up the tension beautifully and keeps you reading.  It's very clear before long that Ernessa isn't just unusual, she's something very clearly sinister, with our maybe-not-quite-so-reliable narrator the only one unafraid to see her for what she truly is but frightened enough to be trapped as a bystander.

It's Carmilla reimagined in a girl's boarding school dashed with the Gothic suspense/paranoia of Edgar Allen Poe, and assuming you can find it (I actually had to order mine-- it's no longer in print but it IS being prepped for a film adaptation) it's definitely a worthwhile read.